Asking God's Guidance / The New World Of Cancer

I would not be sitting here today ( June 6th 2010 ) journaling about my survival had it not been for God and Jesus surrounding me with their healing love and guidance. When I first got hit with the news that I had a catastrophic illness, I was a christian of modest faith. This faith had guided through a difficult childhood, my parents divorce, and other traumas that followed. I had never been much of a church goer, but I had a modest belief in God and his son, Jesus. ( In my adult life this faith carried me through a serious heart event and a significant depression ) As I grew older and became a medical professional I started asking for more responsibilities at work ( Possibly to compensate for the low self esteeem I've had for most of my life ) .As time went on, my life took on workaholic tendencies. I leaned on the fact that no matter what I was going through if I poured myself into my work and lectures, the internal pain and stress would seem to disolve. At the onset of my initial diagnosis I was heavily into this mode.

I remember that moment in Tennesee when I was lying in the woods, gazing up at the cross in agony. I had not slept for weeks and was exhausted. The shearing pain came in waves and was getting worse in my right side. Moreover, my fevers and rigors were not abating even with the handfuls of tylenol I was consuming. Everywhere I had been
( visiting many cancer centers ) they had given me no hope . Over the previous seven weeks I had been leaning heavily on medical professionals and my friends for support and advice but I seemd to be getting worse. Constant terror and fear can humble a person. The events that day at the cross made me realize that there might not be an earthly answer to my dilemma. But I could "choose to see things differently" (ACIM)
I started to realize (at that moment) that I could indeed choose another way of looking at this. Starting the next day, at MD Anderson Cancer Center, I was calm enough to read some bible verses and lessons from A Course in Miracles. Each day as I awoke, I would do at least 30 minutes of reading followed by hands on imagery on the broken places of my body. (I would see each organ and cell Whole)

During the next 2-3 years, each season that approached (of that year) would lead me to a new challenge, new mountain tops, that I would need to face. God would speak to me often though the air, wind, the sun, the oceans and the trees. His healing balm would be sent to me through strangers, animals, mountains, humor and the thousands of individuals that were praying for me. He would guide me to the best experts in the world (conventional and natural) through the internet, my colleages, journals, obscure news articles, television programs, phone calls, and other fellow cancer patients. New opportunities of healing started to open up. During the second year of my diagnosis (during my divorce) I recall that another chemo had failed to work against the advancing tumors. I was very sick and my clinicians at the time had no answers. At a support group at Gildas Club ( Michigan ), I met a woman who was battling advanced breast cancer. She was in a very similar situation, as I was, and she was giving herself a chemotherapy called Ukraine,(from Europe)And,that it was staving off the progression of her tumors. This chemotherapy would only attack her cancer cells and had minimal side effects. I did some research and found that it had potential with liver cancers and sarcomas. Sure enough within weeks, my friends and colleages started putting on fund-raisers for me so I could pay the significant price tag for this product. I was on it for ten months and in the end, it did put me into partial remission for six months. I considered that a miracle. There are no coincidences in life. I know in my heart and soul that God had put this woman in my life for a reason.

Again and again over the past seven years I was at deaths door with no where to turn.
Last year was one of my worst. My liver was failing and the tumors were advancing again. I was fainting often at work and my chemo was not holding the tumor growth. My teams in NYC were not sure about which proceedure I should have next before my liver transplant to keep me alive. They wanted me to stay in NY over the next few weeks to have tests done. I prayed to God for guidance about what to do. I also started scanning the internet for help. Sure enough a few days later I found a website discussing the work of the one of the most eminent liver interventionalists in the world. His name is Dr. Salem and he works out of Northwestern Memorial Medical Center in Chicago. I was so sick as I left Manhattan and started towards the windy city. The day after I arrived Dr. Salem and his team put me under and diagnosed the blockage that was threatening my life. A week later he went in again and performed
an angioplasty thru my vena-cava in my liver. His wisdom and wonderful guidance saved my life.

When you are up against the wall, with no where to turn, say to yourself: "Its possible, There is a Way". It is never to late to call out for help. Against all odds, we can take Gods hand and he can lead us to safety.

Setting Your Intention To Survive / New World of Cancer

In the early stages of the movie " Braveheart " there is a scene where William Wallace's father has been killed in one of the battles to free Scotland. The young boy ( Mel Gibson ) wants to fight back and avenge his fathers death. His wise uncle approaches him and states " Before you use this ( sword ), you've got to use this, he points to his head and applying wisdom.

Most of us are unprepared when we are given a diagnosis of cancer. Initially it can be a terrifying feeling followed by emotional and physical shock for a period of weeks to months. If one wants to live, it is paramont during this period to focus one's attention on survival. Webster's dictionary discusses intention as a purpose and objective," the determination to act ". Many cancer patients that I have counseled over the past seven years have had difficulty even initiating their focus on intention. Many others lose it along the way. A significant percentage of patients want their children, spouse, friends, or medical clinician to make decisions for them. Many of them fail to step up to the plate and face the Evil that is standing before them. This can be a grave mistake. Many new agers will tell you to go on with your life and wish it away, others perhaps vegetarians will suggest that a special diet will solve the puzzle. Others perhaps mindful Christians, will try and pray the diagnosis of cancer away. Let me be very clear, CANCER IS EVIL. When someone receives this diagnosis it would behoove them to get ready for battle. The bible describes putting on the armor of battle , defending yourself with the shield of faith, and picking up the sword of truth. The diagnosis of a tough cancer behooves one to do all of the above and more. It is and should be the Turning Point and Defining Moment In Ones Life. Our minds and bodies are terrified. Most of us are in such a stage of shock, that it's difficult to even feel and listen to one's soul.
Studies are starting to show, that patients who take charge and learn assertive behaviors have far better outcomes that those who don't .

I cannot tell you the number of phone calls that I get each month from patients and family's that are at the end of their rope. The chemotherapy has stopped working, the complications are mounting and their medical centers do not have the answers.
Over 1,600 patients go down each day in the United States and that number is not going away.

My diagnosis was so rare I realized that the only way to survive was to surround myself with the best experts ( Western and Holistic ) and support systems in the world. Within days of coming home from the hospital ( Extremely ill ) I was on the phone daily calling all around the United States and the World for help. I tried to build a survival team of various experts around the world that knew about liver sarcoma. After I had visited a number of medical centers in the midwest, it was decided that I should try a trial of very high doses of interferon. ( Biological Chemo) During one of these sessions, ( at a large medical center in Metro-Detroit )
my oncologist walked in next to me and said, "Mark, it doesn't matter what we try ( He went on to name a number of chemos and experimental drugs ) there is no hope for you." "It would be better now for you to get your affairs in order and enjoy what short time you have left". He gave me this advice as I was laying there receiving chemotherapy and sicker than a dog. I was very discouraged when I left his office that day. I pondered those remarks and got madder than hell. I decided to refocus my intention to survive and give myself those treatments at home. After I fired him he kept calling me and my family for weeks to get me to come back in. Later I found a wonderful oncologist in northern Michigan who was open to trial chemos and integrative adjunctive therapies. Over the next seven years, I had to refocus my energy , a number of times. Day after day, night after night, week after week, for seven years, I was on the phone or on my computer searching for answers.

The danger never seemed to leave for very long. One day about three years into my journey, I went to work doing consultations at a rehab center. I had been feeling very weak for a number of days and feeling worse. I attributed this to side effects of my chemotherapy. I was standing there examining a patient and started getting dizzy. All of the sudden my world started falling down around me. My heart started beating in an irregular manner and it felt like it was going to explode. A physician ministered to me and put me in a car with himself and nurse driving. When we arrived at Henry Ford Medical Center ( Detroit ) I was pallor and my pulse was thready. A Trauma team stabilized me and started scanning my body. As they took me out of the scanner a physician came up and said " Mark, dont move an inch. Your medi-port has dropped into the right ventricle of your heart and is starting to go into your lungs.

The Missing Link in Cancer Survival / New World of Cancer

During the winter of 2002 I was told that I had a very rare form of liver sarcoma. After I had visited a number of major medical centers....I was told the same two words 'NO HOPE'.

A friend of mine had heard of a well known oncologist at the M. D. Cancer Center in Houston. She encouraged me to consult with him. After the examination he discussed with me that I was up against a vicious opponent. He shared with me something that very few cancer patients ever hear. He told me that if I wanted to stay alive...I personally would have to find three contingency plans to stay alive. These would be backup strategies that I could pull out of my pocket at anytime to increase my chances of survival. If I would use up one or two of them, I would have to find more.

These essential words of wisdom did indeed save my life. Day and night I searched through cancer center libraries, the internet, and oncology journals. I joined internet groups and blogs to find answers and clues. Finally I did indeed find three
strategies that did save my life and used up all of them.(They will be discussed in later chapters)

The majority of cancer patients ( with advanced disease ) put most of their hope and faith in one physician or medical center. When their labwork and scans start going south and they become deathly ill...oftentimes the professionals taking care of them DO NOT have the answers to save them. That is why it is IMPERATIVE that patients facing a tough cancer diagnosis MUST find a lead researcher/medical liason to assist them. They must seek out multiple opinions and strategies early on and come up with three contigency plans to extend their lifespan.

This important homework assignment that Im giving to you could very well tilt the balance in your favor in the battle between life and death.

© Mark Roby 2010