I would not be sitting here today, June 6th, 2010, journaling about my survival, had it not been for God and Jesus giving me their healing love.
When I first got hit with the news that I had a catastrophic illness, I was a Christian of modest faith. This faith had guided me through a difficult childhood,my family's divorce and other traumas that followed. I had never been much of a church person, but I had a modest belief in God and his son Jesus. As I grew older and became a medical professional, I started asking for more responsibilities at work, possibly to compensate for the low self esteem I've had for most of my life. As time went on, my life took on workaholic tendencies that often wore me down. I leaned on the fact that no matter what I was going through, if I threw myself into my work and lectures, the internal pain and stress would seem to dissolve. At the onset of my initial diagnosis, I was heavily into this mode.
I remember traveling to MD Anderson Cancer Center and the moment I first saw that huge cross off the expressway in Tennessee. I had not slept for weeks and was exhausted. The shearing pain was coming in waves and getting worse in my right side. Moreover my fevers and chills were not abating even with the handfuls of Tylenol I was consuming. Over the previous seven weeks I had been leaning heavily on medical professionals and my friends for support and advice, but I seemed to be getting worse. ( Most patients with primary liver cancer do not make it past 18-24 months )Cancer can humble a person. The events during that day at the cross made me realize that there might be no earthly answer to my dilemma but, I could choose to "see this differntly" ( A Course In Miracles ). I started to understand at that moment that I could choose another way of looking at this. Starting the next day at MD Anderson, I was calm enough to read some bible verses and also lessons form a Course in Miracles. Each day as I awoke, I would do at least thirty minutes of reading followed by hands on imagery on the broken places in my body. During the next two to three years, each season that approached would lead me to new challenges, new mountain tops that I would need to face.As often as I could I would go out into nature. God would speak to me through the air, the wind, the sun the oceans, and the trees. His healing balm and spirit would be sent to me through strangers, animals, movies, humor and thousands of people praying for me. He would guide me to the best experts in the world through the internet, my colleagues, journals, obscure news articles, television programs, phone calls and other fellow cancer patients.The other survivors were invaluable to me. New oportunities of healing started to open up.
During the second year of my diagnosis ( During my divorce ) I recall that another chemotherapy had again failed to work against the advancing tumors. I was very sick and my clinicians at the time had no answers. At a support group in Michigan ( Gildas Club ), I met a woman who was battling advanced breast cancer. She was in a very simular situation as I was and she had also heard that I was a naturopath. During this session she whispered to me that she was giving herself a natural chemotherapy called Ukraine ( from Europe ) and that it was staving off the progression of her tumors. This therapy would attack only the cancer cells and had minimal side effects. I did some of my own research and found that it had potential with liver cancer and sarcomas . Sure enough, within weeks my friends and colleagues started putting on fundraisers so that I could pay the significant price tag for this product. I was on it for ten months and it did put me into a partial remission for awhile. I consider that a miracle. There are no coincidences in life. I know in my heart that God put this woman in my life for a reason.
Fellow cancer patients and other survivors are an important link in the circle of life. They are undervalued and not talked about enough. They can open doors to new treatments that many patients are not aware of. They give hope and inspiration to others around them. Moreover they are constantly coming up with new strategies to save their own life and others. Many are doing integrative treatments on themselves and adding nutritional anti-cancer therapies to their regimen. These are the herioc individuals that are silently mentoring other survivors. We need to study them more closely and learn from them.
Take Home Points / Bullets :
Ask yourself what do I need to do to feel safe right now?
What are the components or circumstances in my life that may have contributed to my diagnosis ?
What do I need to do to get better ? ( Spiritually, emotionally, nutritionally )
What is this cancer diagnosis trying to tell me?
What do I need to change?
Should I make a list?
Is there anyone in my life or past that I have not forgiven ?
What am I holding onto that could have led to this illness or diagnosis ?
What do I need to look at?
What do I need to let go of?
Could I get on my knees and ask God for guidance for every inportant decision?
Remember: I am not a body I am free---for I am still as God created me ( ACIMs )
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Thursday, June 23, 2011
The Assertive Survivor / New World of Cancer
Cancer is a very complicated and complex set of issues that often fool the brightest minds that medicine can offer. I cannot tell you the number of phone calls I get each year from patients and their families that are at the end of their rope. The chemotherapy has stopped working and the complications are mounting while many of their medical centers are struggling to find answers. Between 1,500 and 1,600 patients go down each day in the United States and those numbers are not going away.We have much more to do to win the war over cancer. In the first two weeks of any diagnosis of a rare or advanced cancer, it is imperative that the cancer patient and their inner circle focus their intention on a battle plan. If they cannot, they need to seek out a lead researcher who can help them to formulate one. Webster's dictionary has various synonyms for intention. Included are: intent, purpose, aim, end , objective, or goal. It goes on to define a goal as something attained only by prolonged effort or hardship. Surviving a diagnosis of a catastrophic complicated cancer is hard work. It is a daily step by step process. One must focus an enormous amount of time and energy on survival. Many, many cancer patients want others to do this for them. If you are too sick or are not in a space to do this, then you must find intelligent strong individuals to bring into your inner circle to help you do this . Taking action will help you to save your own life.
Take home points and action steps :
1. Pick up the phone and start calling for help.
2. Use Integrative Oncology websites ( shown in my upcoming blogs )
3. Become familiar with tissue types and staging of your own cancer.
4. Learn the nuances of your type of cancer.
5. Find survivors with your type of cancer and learn from them.
6. Don't listen to the death sentences.
7. Write down goals each day.
8. Use the DataBase coming in my blogs.
9. Use a Frontal Attack, Go after the cancer. Stand up to it.
10. Walk through the fear.
Remember, It's possible. There is a way through this. Never give up.
Take home points and action steps :
1. Pick up the phone and start calling for help.
2. Use Integrative Oncology websites ( shown in my upcoming blogs )
3. Become familiar with tissue types and staging of your own cancer.
4. Learn the nuances of your type of cancer.
5. Find survivors with your type of cancer and learn from them.
6. Don't listen to the death sentences.
7. Write down goals each day.
8. Use the DataBase coming in my blogs.
9. Use a Frontal Attack, Go after the cancer. Stand up to it.
10. Walk through the fear.
Remember, It's possible. There is a way through this. Never give up.
Friday, May 20, 2011
ILLNESS AS TEACHER / THE NEW WORLD Of CANCER
Cancer and catastrophic illness are wake up calls to change one's life in all aspects. Over the past thirty years, ( practicing medicine ) I have watched thousands of individuals battle this disease. Many have put the majority of their hope and faith into one oncologist or medical center. Others might lend an ear to a close friend or family member for guidance. Unfortunately, when the cancer or complications start taking them down, many of these friends, family members, or providers, don't have the answers or strategies to keep them alive. God has hidden the answers inside of each of us. It is our job to call out and ask him to show us these secrets.
When I was stricken with my devastating diagnosis, I was a workaholic and a Christian of modest faith. Moreover, I had considered myself a failure at establishing a long standing, successful relationship. In the past, my relationships ended within five years. At the time of my diagnosis I was working myself to the bone at two medical centers and also giving many lectures on Integrative medicine. I was putting so many hours into my career that I had let my spiritual life slide. During one of these periods of exhaustion, before my diagnosis, I had a dream that there was something seriously wrong with me. I sensed that one of God's messengers was coming to warn me. I listened to the warning and told the messenger that I hoped that whatever diagnosis I was given....would be something that I could fight with dignity and courage. The entity in this dream, listened to me and then vanished. Approximately six months later, I was diagnosed with one of the rarest sarcomas in the world.
When I was stricken with my devastating diagnosis, I was a workaholic and a Christian of modest faith. Moreover, I had considered myself a failure at establishing a long standing, successful relationship. In the past, my relationships ended within five years. At the time of my diagnosis I was working myself to the bone at two medical centers and also giving many lectures on Integrative medicine. I was putting so many hours into my career that I had let my spiritual life slide. During one of these periods of exhaustion, before my diagnosis, I had a dream that there was something seriously wrong with me. I sensed that one of God's messengers was coming to warn me. I listened to the warning and told the messenger that I hoped that whatever diagnosis I was given....would be something that I could fight with dignity and courage. The entity in this dream, listened to me and then vanished. Approximately six months later, I was diagnosed with one of the rarest sarcomas in the world.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Building Your Personal Survival Team / New World of Cancer
( God is in Everything I See ) - ACIM
There is a scene in the movie " The Twin Towers " ( part of the Lord in The Rings Trilogy ), that every cancer patient needs to examine. In the movie, the majority of middle earth has been taken over by Saramon ( The evil one ). Gandolf the wizard and Aragon have rescued King Theoden from Saramons evil spell and are trying to warn him of impending doom to him and his people. The King is stubborn and suggests that he and his countrymen can fight this battle on their own. In the castle, Aragon pleads with him many times and begs the king to send out riders to bring reinforcements in from surrounding lands. Again and again, the king stubbornly refuses and lets his ego put him and his kingdom in grave danger.
After I recovered from the shock of my rare diagnosis, I realized that I was the one that would have spearhead my journey of survival. Everywhere I had gone in the midwest, I was given the same two words, " No hope ". Moreover when I went to M. D. Anderson Cancer Center in Houston, the reponse was the same. I even recall a conversation thst I had at a major cancer center in the midwest,after my return from Houston. The chemo was not working and my scans were getting worse. I asked the oncologist, could he please help me to find an agent that could help slow down the sarcoma. He looked at me and said........" Mark, what are you doing here? We just saw you 8 weeks ago". I said to him..." Doctor...I need your help. Im dying and want to live. Please help me. Is there a chemo. or agent that could stave this off or keep it at Bay? ". He looked at me and seemed upset. "Im wondering why you keep coming back" he said. "There is nothing more we can do, we told you that last time".
This physician seemed actually perplexed as to why I returned. His affect seemed depressed and angry.This conversation took place at one of the most well known major cancer centers in the midwest. This is a center at which they had seen a significant amount of sarcoma patients and did research. I walked away very sullen and in shock. I could not believe what I had just heard.
Cancer is a very formidable, intelligent opponent. It is a very complicated, sophisticated disease. Oftentimes, the most brillant medical, scientific minds in the workd cannot impede it's progression. Cancer cells and tumors can adapt and change at will. One of the biggest mistakes that a patient with and advanced or rare tumor can make is to assume that one oncolocist can lead them to safety. The majority of cancer patients I have talked to over the past 30 years have no idea what they are up against. The large majority of oncologists that I went to for help (over 25) told me in various ways that they did not know what to do with me. Some were nice about it, others were downright rude. Buiding your own survival team is Imperative if you are facing a rare or advanced cancer.
Lead Researcher
Cancer therapies and strategies are changing at a rapid pace. I feel personally that it is important to mount a three pronged attack when one hears that word," cancer". In order to survive, it's essential that you (the cancer patient), or someone you trust, take the lead and start gaining some expertise in understanding your diagnosis. The large majority of cancer patients and their families do not do this. The biggest mistake you can make, is to assume that your clinician or oncologist will understand everything that it will take to keep you alive. They may do their best, but you cannot make that assumption.
Most of the clinicians I spoke to, told me to eat anything I wanted to , to gain weight. They also told me to stay away from all natural medicines and supplements. They literally said that my natural protocols would increase my demise. When I walked out of these cancer centers, I did just the opposite. I stuck to my alkaline diet, my enemas, and my natural supplements that I carefully had researched.
The majority of chemotherapy offices across the United States that I visited were offering myself snd other patients a large array of soda pop, candy, sweets, and salted snacks that had a multitude of preservatives in them. They were also offering patients a supplement called, Boost, which has a very high sugar content. These type of foods are typical of the western diet, whick has been associated with inflammation. It would behoove clinicians to think twice before they advise patients to eat anything they want. There are many studies to back me up., including the ones published by the Life Extention Foundation and The New york Times. I have found that it's best to combine both conventional and holistic approaches to improve survival rates. Both sides need to understand the tremendous amount of lives that can be saved , combining these two sciences. My survival is proof of this. There are a number of providers in each state to help you do this.
Studies have shown that patients who are assertive and proactive have much better survival outcomes than those who don't. It's important for you or your lead researcher to gain knowledge concerning these topics:
* Tumor grade (Histologic grade)
* Staging system (which grade and why)
* Pathology report
* Five year survival stats and prognosis
* Clinical studies and trials
* Stem cell research
* Radiation Therapies
* Interventional Radiology options
* Targeted therapy options
* Cutting edge surgical options
* Genotyping
Holistic Theraputic Options
* Anti-Cancer/Alkaline Diet
* Herbal Adjuncts
* Vitamin Therapies
* Alkaline Water
* Intravenous vitamin therapies (in between chemo sessions)
* Guided Imagery
* Prayer and meditation
Cancer Patients Listen:
Each week, I listen to and talk with fellow survivors and individuals who are fighting for their very lives. Thousands and thousands of people I did not know came to my aid when I called out for help. God sent me armies of angels and people who gave me guidance and support when I was about to go over the cliff. I have seen Miracle upon Miracle since my diagnosis. Please don't give up. There is a way through this dark cavern. Take God's hand and he will lead you to safety.
There is a scene in the movie " The Twin Towers " ( part of the Lord in The Rings Trilogy ), that every cancer patient needs to examine. In the movie, the majority of middle earth has been taken over by Saramon ( The evil one ). Gandolf the wizard and Aragon have rescued King Theoden from Saramons evil spell and are trying to warn him of impending doom to him and his people. The King is stubborn and suggests that he and his countrymen can fight this battle on their own. In the castle, Aragon pleads with him many times and begs the king to send out riders to bring reinforcements in from surrounding lands. Again and again, the king stubbornly refuses and lets his ego put him and his kingdom in grave danger.
After I recovered from the shock of my rare diagnosis, I realized that I was the one that would have spearhead my journey of survival. Everywhere I had gone in the midwest, I was given the same two words, " No hope ". Moreover when I went to M. D. Anderson Cancer Center in Houston, the reponse was the same. I even recall a conversation thst I had at a major cancer center in the midwest,after my return from Houston. The chemo was not working and my scans were getting worse. I asked the oncologist, could he please help me to find an agent that could help slow down the sarcoma. He looked at me and said........" Mark, what are you doing here? We just saw you 8 weeks ago". I said to him..." Doctor...I need your help. Im dying and want to live. Please help me. Is there a chemo. or agent that could stave this off or keep it at Bay? ". He looked at me and seemed upset. "Im wondering why you keep coming back" he said. "There is nothing more we can do, we told you that last time".
This physician seemed actually perplexed as to why I returned. His affect seemed depressed and angry.This conversation took place at one of the most well known major cancer centers in the midwest. This is a center at which they had seen a significant amount of sarcoma patients and did research. I walked away very sullen and in shock. I could not believe what I had just heard.
Cancer is a very formidable, intelligent opponent. It is a very complicated, sophisticated disease. Oftentimes, the most brillant medical, scientific minds in the workd cannot impede it's progression. Cancer cells and tumors can adapt and change at will. One of the biggest mistakes that a patient with and advanced or rare tumor can make is to assume that one oncolocist can lead them to safety. The majority of cancer patients I have talked to over the past 30 years have no idea what they are up against. The large majority of oncologists that I went to for help (over 25) told me in various ways that they did not know what to do with me. Some were nice about it, others were downright rude. Buiding your own survival team is Imperative if you are facing a rare or advanced cancer.
Lead Researcher
Cancer therapies and strategies are changing at a rapid pace. I feel personally that it is important to mount a three pronged attack when one hears that word," cancer". In order to survive, it's essential that you (the cancer patient), or someone you trust, take the lead and start gaining some expertise in understanding your diagnosis. The large majority of cancer patients and their families do not do this. The biggest mistake you can make, is to assume that your clinician or oncologist will understand everything that it will take to keep you alive. They may do their best, but you cannot make that assumption.
Most of the clinicians I spoke to, told me to eat anything I wanted to , to gain weight. They also told me to stay away from all natural medicines and supplements. They literally said that my natural protocols would increase my demise. When I walked out of these cancer centers, I did just the opposite. I stuck to my alkaline diet, my enemas, and my natural supplements that I carefully had researched.
The majority of chemotherapy offices across the United States that I visited were offering myself snd other patients a large array of soda pop, candy, sweets, and salted snacks that had a multitude of preservatives in them. They were also offering patients a supplement called, Boost, which has a very high sugar content. These type of foods are typical of the western diet, whick has been associated with inflammation. It would behoove clinicians to think twice before they advise patients to eat anything they want. There are many studies to back me up., including the ones published by the Life Extention Foundation and The New york Times. I have found that it's best to combine both conventional and holistic approaches to improve survival rates. Both sides need to understand the tremendous amount of lives that can be saved , combining these two sciences. My survival is proof of this. There are a number of providers in each state to help you do this.
Studies have shown that patients who are assertive and proactive have much better survival outcomes than those who don't. It's important for you or your lead researcher to gain knowledge concerning these topics:
* Tumor grade (Histologic grade)
* Staging system (which grade and why)
* Pathology report
* Five year survival stats and prognosis
* Clinical studies and trials
* Stem cell research
* Radiation Therapies
* Interventional Radiology options
* Targeted therapy options
* Cutting edge surgical options
* Genotyping
Holistic Theraputic Options
* Anti-Cancer/Alkaline Diet
* Herbal Adjuncts
* Vitamin Therapies
* Alkaline Water
* Intravenous vitamin therapies (in between chemo sessions)
* Guided Imagery
* Prayer and meditation
Cancer Patients Listen:
Each week, I listen to and talk with fellow survivors and individuals who are fighting for their very lives. Thousands and thousands of people I did not know came to my aid when I called out for help. God sent me armies of angels and people who gave me guidance and support when I was about to go over the cliff. I have seen Miracle upon Miracle since my diagnosis. Please don't give up. There is a way through this dark cavern. Take God's hand and he will lead you to safety.
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